Day 20 - It's Just Not Right

Years ago I was in a restaurant with Emma waiting for some friends to show up. It was a Friday and early evening. As I sat there, watching family after family come in and be seated, I started noticing a pattern and it was really starting to piss me off. There were the dads, some in jeans and a sweatshirt, others in suit pants, dress shirt and loosened tie having just gotten off work. They looked relaxed and ready for the weekend.

There were kids, lots of kids of all ages. Some were whining because they were hungry. Some were coloring on the paper tablecloths. Some were interacting with each other goofing around. Most of them, despite the whining, were having a good time.

Then there were the moms. My gosh, the moms. They looked tired. They looked rather disheveled. I noticed that many of them looked older than their husbands. Hair thinning and unhealthy looking. Skin sallow. Frown lines.

It really made me mad. By the time my friends showed up I was indignant and outraged. "It's just not right!"

I just don't understand what we women do to ourselves - and our lives. Why are we so hard on ourselves? Why do we let other people be so hard on us? Why are we so hard on each other? It's disheartening. It weighs on me heavily and has for years.

I spent my lunch hour with a coworker yesterday. She is really hurting. She runs herself ragged at work (seven days a week late into the night) and still feels like she doesn't measure up. A somewhat unappreciative boss and an enormous workload has caused a real hit on her self-esteem - and her health.

It's just not right.

I then had dinner last night with a friend who is also hurting. She is grieving so much in her life and feels so lost. Her husband seems to be bop-bop-boppin' along in life which inevitably leaves her very lonely.

It's just not right.

Our neighborhood has gone through a real trial in the last few months. Families that all used to be friends are no longer friends. It's all rooted in women being unkind to other women.

It's just not right.

I don't understand it. I never will. It's a waste of life, of breath, of love, of laughter, of time, of joy.

IT'S JUST NOT RIGHT.