Wonder Where She Got Her Sense of Humor From

The last few weeks since Greg's dad died have been hard. I've known for years now how hard it is to lose someone you love, but I haven't had to see Greg go through losing a family member of his own. He loved my family members that have died but it's different when it's your own father or mother or brother or sister. This is all new to him.

What happens when someone you loves dies (at least for me and some others I've talked to) is that so much changes for you internally - your heart breaks, you mind spins, your body fatigues - and it's overwhelming. But your external life changes very little. You still have to go to work, you still have to go to class, you still need to get gas, you still need to go grocery shopping, you still have to take care of your children, you still need to be nice to other people...you still have to get on with it. The friction created between the two truths is extremely difficult and the pain of it can really eat away at you.

But! In every situation there can be found laughter, and Emma is often the provider of that laughter.

When we were in Hilton Head to visit Greg's mom, Sharon, right after Pete died, we stayed at a hotel down the road from Sharon's house. As you can imagine, Greg was a little stressed by this time. His father just dying and his mother being, um, challenging was finally starting to get to him.

The day finally arrived for us to head home. As we were packing up and getting ready to check-out Greg went and got one of those luggage carts. When he brought it upstairs he was trying to get it through the room door for some reason. Well, it wouldn't fit. He kept backing it up and pushing it forward, but it just kept banging into the door frame. I was in the bathroom area brushing my teeth while this was going on but I could hear it - back and forward and bang, back and forward and bang, back and forward and bang. I peeked my head out of the bathroom area and there was Emma standing there watching him do this. She didn't offer to help. She didn't get out of the way. She didn't say a word. (I think because by that time we were tip-toeing around him a bit) She just stared at him doing this over and over again.

Finally, after banging the cart into the doorframe about ten times, Greg stopped trying and just looked up at Emma with the most frustrated look on his face.

She looked back at him deadpan and with that completely straight face says, "Troubles?"

I nearly gagged on my mouthful of toothpaste and had to duck back into the bathroom to bust a gut laughing.

That kid makes all of life worthwhile.

I Have a Dream Too

Tomorrow is a big day. The first day that "Yes We Can" will be tested. Can we? Will we? Will I?

Clearly, big changes need to take place in my own life and also in the life of the country. Will we pony up? Are we up to it? It's gonna get harder before it gets better for a lot of us and I wonder if we - I - have the kahunas to make it happen. I think I do.

I hope I do.

No, I do. I absolutely do.

I listened to Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech today and I thought about how a big part of that dream is coming true tomorrow. It's monumental. It's historic. It's unbelievable! How fantastic that we are transforming into a time of hope. Hope for this country's troubled times and hope that this country is making such strides in the fight against racism. A long way to go but a long way come.

As I watched all of the coverage on the various talk shows and news channels today I reveled in this great feeling of hope and excitement. To be a witness to this kind of history. To want to keep my daughter home from school to watch it all happen. In a way, there are no words to clearly express how big it feels.

But....then....I felt kind of sad about that. I must be nuts, I thought. Sad? Really? What a freaking downer you are Rachel.

That's when I realized it. I have a dream too. I dream of the day when a black man - or woman - being sworn in as president is not historic. Is not new. Becomes so common that it's "no big thang" as they say. I dream of the day when the same is true for a Latino American or an Asian American or a Jewish American. The day that we all truly have become simply, Americans.

That's the country that I dream of for my daughter and my daughter's daughter. A country whose citizens looks back at video from the year 2009 when a black man named Barack Obama becoming President was so huge and they'll wonder at that. Even giggle at how silly our country was that it hadn't happened sooner.

In the meantime, I will enjoy tomorrow for all that it is in this time in our history. I will let myself feel that excitement and live in the moment.

And hope still - always - for a better future.

Thanks for the Memories Pete

Today is a sad day. Greg's dad died suddenly this morning and our hearts are hurting.

We will miss you Pete.