I haven't written much because I'm annoying even myself with the drama and seemingly never-ending angst that has become my life. It's pointless to get on here and drone on and on about it all.
The level of frustration I feel about not being able to have more control over my life is at an all time high and it feels insurmountable. I'm a proactive person and believe in doing for myself and not whining.
But what do you do when it won't let up? What do you do when things aren't getting better no matter how hard you try? Life just keeps throwing crap at you and the only choice you have is to juke and jive in an attempt to dodge bullets. Crappy bullets. Bullets full of crap. CRAPTASTIC BULLETS FULL OF CRAP.
It's awful. I'm tired. Exhausted. To the bone exhausted. There are times lately that it doesn't even seem worth it. What's the point if life is this hard for this long?
No, I'll never kill myself. Not my style. But I sure would like some relief. I would like to rest my mind and my heart. I would like some spiritual and emotional respite.
I would like to be happy.
Content.
At peace.
That's all. Just some peace-of-mind...
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