Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails?

The other day I was on my way to pick up Emma from school when this guy, some joker in his twenties, cut me off pretty closely causing me to have to slam on my breaks to avoid an accident. I refrained from doing what I really wanted to do (which was flip him off) because I'm really trying to class it up more lately. So I put both hands up in the air, palms up and shrugged my shoulders, like What the heck did you do that for?!

He angrily slammed on his brakes causing me and everyone behind me to have to do the same (again!). I was so confused. He cut me off. I thought he was getting off pretty easy compared to the level of wrath I wanted unload on him. A palms-up shrug of the shoulders was quite mild in comparison. Why was he pissed off at me? Because I dared to question his choice to drive so dangerously with an emphatic shrug?

He accelerated again and off we all went down the road for a couple of miles until the next intersection where there was a red light. Joker dude moved into the left turning lane and I stayed in the straight lane. He screeched to a halt next to my car, holding up everyone behind him that wanted to turn left, rolled down his window and started spewing this load of vitriol at me that shocked even the New Yorker in me. Maybe it wasn't just the words and gestures he was using, but that he was angry with me at all. I was still so confused. What had I done to him?

As he ranted on and on - even when he had a green arrow and and everyone behind him was honking - I just stared at him and laughed. What else could I do? He was being ridiculous. So out of control.

Eventually the light to go straight turned green and I started to roll forward. He sees this and realizes that his time with me is just about up. I waved at him with a big smile on my face and in a last ditch attempt to put me in my place he yells at the top of his lungs, "WHAT ARE YOU? A GUY?" then he sped off with his tires screeching wildly.

Seriously? Is that the best that he's got for his parting shot? Was that supposed to hurt me? What does that even mean? Was a palms-up shrug masculine? Did he, too, drive away from me and think to himself, What the hell does that mean? Why did I say that?!

I hope so. I hope he did feel foolish, because with that kind of irrational temper, he's probably a wife-beater.

I hate wife-beaters.